A person who looks back on his past doesn’t deserve the future. This phrase encapsulates the truth of life. The way we perceive the past directly influences our future. And no matter what exactly is clinging to us in the past – good or bad, this anchor in any case prevents us from being happy here and now. That is why it is important to be able to let go of the past and live in the present.
Why It’s Difficult to Let Go of the Past
Such a simple question, but so difficult to answer because we all have our own reasons. Let’s list the most common ones.
People tend to regret what they did in the past. Day after day, they blame themselves for the mistakes they once made. It’s very easy to get trapped if you’re constantly turning in your head past troubles and thinking that you could have done things differently. But this is an illusion, no one can know how the situation would have turned out if a person had acted differently.
Often, resentments that are buried in the heart make it difficult to live normally. In their minds, they keep coming back to the person who hurt them. Trying to understand why he was so unfairly treated, blaming and judging, he doesn’t notice the good things that are happening to him in the present.
The person may not let go of the joyful moments of the past. They cling to them as best they can, but nothing pleases them in the present. It’s easy to feel happy when you are immersed in happy memories. Happy moments of the past can take us away from the gray reality. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as we don’t become addicted to the past. Living only in the past often means losing the present.
When one lives in the past, one’s life seems to falter; one sees no meaning in life, no forward movement, and no serious goals. This suspension can go on for years. As an example, we can give people who bury themselves alive after the death of their loved ones. Life passes them by. And even if they manage to wake up and return to reality, the person feels disappointment and bitterness for the joyless years spent. Isn’t that a reason to forget the past and start living?
6 Simple Ways to Escape From the Captivity of Memories
So, you’ve already figured out why you can’t live in the past. All that’s left is to let go of past memories and start living in the present. Psychologists suggest several effective ways to break free from the trap of memories.
Accept Your Past
Accept what happened. Don’t dwell and do not blame yourself for what has already happened and can not be changed. To do this, you must change your attitude toward your role in the old failures. It will be easier for you if you start to treat past events with a certain amount of fatalism.
Don’t Regret or Berate Yourself for the Mistakes You Made in the Past
You did what you thought was right at the time. Regret is a destructive emotion. It is better to think about the fact that you have become wiser and now definitely will not make past mistakes. Besides, without your past, there would be no present to you.
The Past Is Our Teacher
Any situation, no matter how badly it ended, can be a lesson. Don’t assume that negative experiences are useless. Who knows how life would have turned out without going to a college, creating a 22Bet login, or meeting your ex-partner. If the unpleasant past doesn’t let go, write down on a piece of paper what this story taught you and how your life has changed. Let what you’ve written stay on paper, and you move on with a clear heart.
Fix What You Can Fix
The past exists only in its consequences. If you eliminate most of them, you will easily forget the bad things. And even if you’ve lost a few years, you still have plenty of time. Even if you missed out on a lot in the past, you have a chance to make up for the losses with new accomplishments.
Don’t Drown in Failure Analysis
Look at yourself in the past. Did that person have a chance to do things differently? No! So there’s no point in dwelling on the past. By thinking of yourself as another person, you are able to move unpleasant thoughts about the past into the category of theoretical reflection. But you must be able to listen to your present self – it will help you learn to live in the present.
Let Go of Grudges Against Yourself and Others
In a global sense, the consequences of your actions are absolutely insignificant. So is it worth torturing yourself? It’s not only worth forgiving yourself, but also those who have wronged you in the past. On your part, too wasteful to give the offender so much effort and feelings. If you let go of the past hurts, the emotional connection to the traumatic circumstances will weaken.
Many people find it hard to accept that the past is gone. And not just accept, but recognize that fact. But it’s important to do this. You have changed, and today you are no longer the person from the past with whom something unpleasant happened. The people around you are no longer the same, either – they are different today.